Public Spanking!

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends. -Chanakya

Scolding and spanking are usually used interchangeably but their meanings are different.

Spank to slap or smack with the open hand, especially on the buttocks or a slap or series of slaps with the flat of the hand. Scold/Scolded/scolding/scolds: To reprimand or criticize harshly and usually angrily or to express harsh or angry disapproval to someone. From the above definition spanking involves hitting someone to carryout correction while in scolding verbal communication or body language is used.

According to Wikipedia Spanking is a form of corporal punishment consisting of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain. It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand. When an open hand is used, spanking is referred to in some countries as slapping or smacking. More severe forms of spanking, such as switching, paddling, belting, caning, whipping, and birching, involve the use of an implement instead of a hand. Corporal punishment is most commonly used to discipline a child or teenager. It generally involves an adult – typically a parent, guardian, or teacher – striking the child's buttocks as punishment for unacceptable behavior.

Everybody makes mistakes in raising children; we always want to do better than our moms in one way or the other. We look out for our children's best interest as moms. Parenting is never easy. Spanking or no spanking, our kid’s needs to know that we are not perfect and are bound to make mistakes, taking responsibility for one's actions and letting children know we are not without fault, is a good start.

I once had this experience; my neighbor came to my house one day with her 4years plus old daughter. As they entered my sitting room the daughter sighted a biscuit on my dining table and went straight to pick up the biscuit and started eating it the mum didn’t scold her for doing such I don’t know if she would have done that after they left. I also did not scold the child as I didn’t want the mum to feel she did not train her child well or be ashamed of the daughter and herself. I later threw the question to a group of friends to discuss on the action I would have taken. One said if she was the one she would have spanked the child immediately, some said they would not say anything and another said her reaction would be based on the Child's age.

Yes the age of the child needs to be considered before carrying out any public correction as scolding your child in public could either create a positive impact or a negative one on the child. Corporal punishment is not an evil unto itself if used in a thoughtful and appropriate manner. Spankings should be performed in an age appropriate manner. Some children are too small for physical punishment; others are too emotionally ill-adjusted.

When my son was still little I found that, warnings and verbal correction worked very well. As he’s growing older and more headstrong, I guess he’s beginning to realizing that if he escalates his behavior I would either have to escalate mine or permit him to control the situation. But I don’t permit a contest of wills in public so before going out I’d advise him to behave well and promise to spank him if he misbehaved or deny him of what he wants. I hardly carry such promise since he tends to behave himself as he won’t want to be spanked when he gets home as I try to avoid spanking him in public. I have followed this consistent method of applying warning, reward and withholding of reward, time-outs, etc... Much of the time it works, sometimes it fails when he’s determined to carry out his action.

You need to realize you can set limits and consequences for certain types of behavior without spanking. Correcting a child can be easy if we set boundaries, and when those boundaries are crossed, consistently give your children the consequences, whether it be time-outs, loss of privilege, etc. little or no spanking is needed.

When you are in a public place and can’t control your child you can be faced with; "Why doesn't she do anything against this bad behavior" or with "What a mother - she's scolding and disciplining her kid in public".

Sometimes my son acts up in public. You think I want him to? Not a chance. I hate it when he acts like that. But guess what.... he’s a child so it's bound to happen from time to time.

Children would always be children!